


Requited Love

by Nanaea



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Headcanon, Mild Language, Oral Sex, POV Remus Lupin, Sex, Were-Creatures, Werewolf Senses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-03
Updated: 2006-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-17 08:24:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9313370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanaea/pseuds/Nanaea
Summary: Ever wonder what happened between Lupin and Tonks at the end of Half-Blood Prince? I have attempted to answer that burning question with this fluffy little one-shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I ever wrote, though it's not the first one I posted. It is very much in canon, though I have taken a little liberty with certain characteristics - specifically the heightened senses of a werewolf in human form. Lupin's thoughts are denoted by the use of italics. I usually have a song that serves as inspiration for each story. This piece was written to _Blue_ , by Angie Hart

_What was she thinking?_ Lupin wondered as he paced back and forth across the small bedroom he had claimed at number twelve Grimmauld Place. _Admitting her feelings for me in front of everyone like that!_ He shook his head as if it could undo her declaration. _We've been over and over this._ He ran his fingers absentmindedly through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh. What was it Molly had said? He was 'taking a ridiculous line.' Ridiculous? Had she used that word on purpose? Maybe she was right, maybe he was just hiding behind his fear.

He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and his head instinctively snapped towards the motion. A small mirror in an unadorned pewter frame hung on the wall, reflecting his forlorn image. _What does she see in me?_ His eyes narrowed as he scrutinized himself. His light brown hair, in desperate need of trim, hung limply in front of his eyes and down past his collar. Gray strands wove themselves throughout and seemed to be multiplying at an alarming rate. Glaring at himself he said out loud, rather defiantly, "You're too old for her."

"That's right you pathetic excuse of a man." A snarky voice replied. 

He growled at the mirror and went back to pacing the room like a trapped animal searching for a way out. _You're not old enough to be her father, true, but still, you're definitely too old to be her...._ He shook his head again as a sudden jolt of desire surged through his body. _No,_ he told himself firmly, _best not to even start down that path._ But it was too late because he was already thinking of exactly what it was that he was too old to be doing with her. In fact, he had been thinking about it for several months now. He was, after all, still a man, even if a beast did reside within him. _A beast that would like nothing more than to devour her._

Lupin stopped abruptly, his keen senses alerting him to the approach of someone in the hall outside his room. He listened closely as the familiar gait came to a halt in front of his door. Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply, detecting the fresh, slightly earthy scent that was distinctively hers. He moved silently towards the door. His pulse pounding in his ears so loudly that he almost didn't hear the deep, calming breaths she was taking. _Trying to get up the nerve to knock no doubt,_ he thought to himself. Several minutes passed in silence with only her scent and the soft sound of her breathing to let Lupin know that she was indeed still there. He knew full well that inviting her in to his room was the last thing he should be doing, but he had made up his mind. He would just have to be stronger than the creature inside of him that was fighting for dominance. 

"Would you like to come inside, Nymphadora?" he asked softly, so as not to startle the young woman. "Or would you rather stay perched outside my door all night?" Lupin had to stifle a soft chuckle as she swore a rather explicit oath under her breath. 

"For Merlin's sake, Remus, call me Tonks." The door swung open and Tonks stepped into the room, somehow managing to stumble over the threshold as she did so. He reached out a hand to steady her but she recovered, shooting him an irritated look. 

"I happen to like your name, Nymphadora," he said it again just to annoy her, "it's unique, not unlike yourself."

"Remus...?" she hesitated. "We need to talk."

"I know."

"You've been ignoring me ever since we got back from Hogwarts."

"I'm sorry." Lupin wanted to reach out and cradle her face in his hand, stroke his thumb across her silken cheek, but he didn't dare give in to the temptation. Instead he motioned her over to the only chair in the room. "That was never my intention. I just ... I needed some time to think." 

Ignoring the seat he offered, she turned on him. "You've had enough time to think!" her dark eyes glared at him, full of hurt. "In fact, you've had too much bleeding time. Love isn't something you ponder, Remus. You're supposed to _feel_ it."

"It's not that I don't have feelings for you. I do. It's just.... Well, it's complicated." It tore him apart to see her like this. He had never meant to cause her so much misery.

"Of course it's complicated; you make it complicated! But it doesn't have to be, Remus, you just have to let go of your excuses."

"They are not excuses." He realised, even as he said it, that he must sound like a petulant child. "I am too old for you—"

"Age is only a number. It may sound trite but it's spot on. As long as two people love each other it shouldn't matter. It's not like I'm dragon bait. I'm not going to land you in Azkaban."

"I'm an outcast. What kind of life could I give you?"

"A contented one, filled with warmth and companionship." She moved closer to him and he became excruciatingly aware of her body heat. 

"You deserve more than that." It was barely a whisper.

"I don't want more than that." She drew even closer, gazing longingly into his eyes. "All I want is you."

"This isn't about what we want, Nymphadora!" The animal inside him wanted nothing more than to tear her clothes off and thrust himself deep inside her willing body. He quickly backed away from her. "It's too dangerous. If I ... if I ever hurt you ... I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"You won't." 

"You don't know that."

"I trust you. And you should trust me. I know you think I can't possibly understand, but I do." She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm an Auror, remember? Give me a bit of credit will you? I know there'll be risks but we'll face them together."

"I can't let you endanger yourself for me."

"Why can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decisions?"

"I do respect you. Why do you think I'm doing this?" he was exasperated. 

"Because you think I'm just a silly little girl who doesn't realize what she's getting herself into."

"Trust me, Nymphadora, I do not think of you as a 'silly little girl'. If I wasn't so painfully aware of the fact that you are a woman we wouldn't even be having this conversation!" His frustration was getting the better of him.

"Then treat me like one; let me make my own decisions!"

He sighed heavily, "Why me?" 

"What?" She was looking at him as if he'd gone mental. 

Maybe he had, but he needed to know. "What do you see in me?" 

"What do I see in you?" She was incredulous, "I see a wonderfully kind, loyal, and intelligent man. A man who puts people at ease, who refuses to notice people's shortcomings, and who brings out the best in everyone around him. A man who would give up the very thing he desires the most to protect someone he loves ... even if he is being thick." 

"I'm not being thick. I'm being ... sensible." But he didn't really believe it himself anymore. 

"Sensible? It's not sensible. It doesn't make any sense at all!" She closed the distance between them again. "Why should you be condemned to a half-life when I love you?" 

She didn't wait for his answer. Instead, she pressed herself against him, brushing his lips with her own. That simple gesture was his downfall. All his pent-up desire was released like a damn breaking. He claimed her lips hungrily, his tongue seeking entrance. His hands seized her pulling her even closer and she moaned against his mouth. He didn't waste the opportunity; his tongue darted in, exploring every delicious crevice and corner as his hands held her firmly against himself. She tasted of chamomile tea and honey and Lupin savoured it as she returned his kiss. He ached for her, and, feeling the familiar stirring sensation in his groin, said to himself, _take it easy, Remus, slow down_. He released her mouth and rested his hands lightly on her shoulders.

"We should," he cleared his throat, "maybe we should slow down." 

"I've wanted this for months, Remus, don't make me wait any longer." 

"I just don't think we should rush into a physical relationship."

"We're not rushing into anything. We've had feelings for each other for a very long time whether you've wanted to admit to them or not."

"I don't deserve you, Nymphadora." Lupin sighed.

"Why? Because you're a werewolf? Get over it, Remus!"

"I wish I could."

"Why are you so afraid of getting close to me?"

"What makes you think—" he looked at her. _Is it that obvious?_ He shook his head and sighed again. "I've been with a lot of women, but I never ... never allowed myself to really care for any of them." He shrugged. "If I didn't get too close then they couldn't ... they couldn't...."

"Hurt you?"

He nodded mutely, eyes downcast, ashamed of his weakness. "And then you came along. And you were beautiful, and intelligent, and interested." He smiled at her. "Even though you knew what I was. What I am." He took her hands in his. "You didn't look at me with fear, or worse - pity, in your eyes. You saw me, just ... me." He closed his eyes briefly; it was too painful. "For the first time in my life I thought, 'here is a woman I could love' and that thought terrified me."

Her voice was gentle, "Why?" 

"Because, everyone I have ever cared for has died. First James and Lily; then Peter, or so I had thought; and my mum; Sirius; and now...." He couldn't bring himself to say it. He could hardly even believe it. Dumbledore ... dead. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, her cheek pressed against his chest, and he buried his face in her hair as the silent tears fell. Several minutes passed before he trusted his voice enough to speak again. "If I were to get that close to you and then lose you too...."

She looked up at him. "No one can know for sure what the future will hold, but you have to take that chance or risk living with the regret when it's too late."

"Regret and I are old acquaintances."

She let go of him and took a step back, her hands on her hips. "So you'd rather sit around feeling sorry for yourself instead of allowing yourself to be happy, even if it's only for a little while?" she glared at him and when he didn't answer she continued, "Well, forgive me if I'd rather not wallow in self-pity." She spun on her heals and headed for the door.

Lupin couldn't let her leave. Not mad. Not like this. He grabbed her arm and yanked her back, pulling her to him and knowing instantly that he was too far gone to let her go again. His hands went up to cradle her head as his thumbs caressed her cheeks. He placed chaste kisses upon her forehead, her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her cheeks, and her chin before settling once again on her lips. He kissed her languidly, enjoying the simple act more than he had ever thought possible. When he released her mouth he noticed that there were tears rolling down her face; he tenderly wiped them away. 

"I hope those were happy tears?"

She nodded at him, her eyes still glistening. With a crooked finger he lifted her chin.

"I am so sorry, Nymphadora. I've been a complete fool. Can you ever forgive me?"

She sniffled. "Yes, you have been." She smiled up at him and they both laughed. "Remus...."

"Yes?"

"Will you let me spend the night with you?"

"Yes." 

He lowered his mouth to hers again and felt her soft form melt against his body. He had longed for this for months and here she was, a sweet mass of yearning warmth pressed against his body. He wanted her. Badly. Lupin felt the beast stirring; felt the low growl building deep within his chest and swallowed it back down. He wasn't about to rush this. 

"Would you like to go get your nightclothes?"

"I sleep in the nude, Remus."

Lupin was taken by the sudden image of her naked, in his bed, in his arms, underneath him.... He shook it off, licked his lips, and gave her a wolfish grin. "Really?" His hands went to the hem of her shirt and he paused. "May, I?" 

She nodded her assent; he pulled the shirt up over her head and tossed it aside. Underneath she wore a tank top and, he noticed with an appreciative glance, no bra, judging by the stiff peaks that were evident through the thin fabric. _Tear you eyes away from her chest you git._ He looked her in the eyes and she smiled amusedly at him. Lupin smiled back as he reached for the fastenings on her jeans. 

"Let me." Tonks stepped back and removed them, kicking them off to the side.

All he could do was stare. "Beautiful," he whispered as his eyes raked over her soft curves. She shivered, just slightly, but he noticed. "Well, I'm a bit overdressed now, aren't I?"

Another nod from her, and - was that hunger in her eyes? He quickly divested himself of his clothing until he was standing there in nothing but his pants. Lupin watched her studying him. When she reached out a tentative finger to trace a scar that ran across his chest he shuddered. One after another she ran her fingers over the scars that crisscrossed his torso, shoulders, and arms, while he stood there transfixed by her touch.

"So many...."

"Occupational hazard." He tried to grin but it felt more like a grimace. 

She leaned towards him and kissed one of the scars, then another, and another. He reached up, took her face in his hands, and rubbed his lips softly over hers then whispered, "Why don't we lie down?"

Taking her by the hand, he led her to the bed, climbed in, and pulled her down next to him, wrapping her in his arms. She sighed, snuggling deeper into his embrace, and he kissed the top of her head. Her fingers soon began playing across his chest again, and then she sat up abruptly.

"Now I'm the one who's overdressed." 

She pulled her tank top off, dropping it onto the floor. _Merlin, help me; there went my resolve._ Lupin sat up behind her and kissed the nape of her neck. Tonks sighed and leaned back into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He nibbled at her earlobe and ran his hands lightly up and down her arms. After a bit he slipped his hands around her waist and skimmed them up her ribcage to cup her breasts. He let his thumbs sweep over her nipples and felt himself grow hard again when she moaned. 

Lupin maneuvered her down beside him and pressed his lips to hers again. He took his time, exploring her body with an unhurried hand as his tongue explored her mouth, enjoying the silky smoothness of her skin, and the softness of her lips. She was getting aroused; he could smell it, intoxicating, beckoning to him. _'How long has it been since you've tasted a woman, Remus?'_ The memory of Sirius' words echoed though his mind along with his reply, _'too long.' Yes, definitely too long._ He strayed from the haven of her lips, kissing and licking as he went, eliciting small sounds of delight from her as he meandered down her body.

When he reached her silk knickers he grazed his lips over the fabric, and exhaled his warm breath through them, making her shudder. Lupin smiled to himself and then slid them off before settling comfortably between her thighs. He inhaled her heady aroma as he parted the chocolate curls. Darting his tongue out, he gave her a teasing lick that made her gasp and her whole body twitch. _Time for a taste,_ he thought as he plunged his tongue into her, relishing her moan almost as much as he relished her unique flavour. Flattening his tongue, he licked all the way up to the hard little nub of flesh that was begging for his attention. Lupin circled it with the tip of his tongue, flicking back and forth over it lightly as he listened intently to each little gasp, and moan, and sigh, that told him what she liked. He let her guide him as she tilted her pelvis and shifted him towards her most sensitive areas. Occasionally he would suck and nibble at it with his lips, and all the while his hands roamed over her thighs, and hips, and belly. He could feel the tension building in her muscles as she writhed under his hands. She stilled for a heartbeat or two and then cried out his name, convulsing as the climax ripped through her body. Lupin stayed with her, drinking her in and coaxing out every last bit of pleasure. 

He trailed kisses down her thigh as her breathing slowed. He licked the backs of her knees, paused briefly to remove his pants, and then slowly crawled back up her body kissing his way back up to her mouth. Lupin hovered over her for moment then lowered his weight onto her, careful to support most of it himself. She reached up and brushed his hair away from his eyes and he shivered.

"It's been a while, Remus." She actually blushed and he found it made her all the more endearing.

"It has for me as well." He stroked her face with the backs of his fingers from temple to jaw. 

"Nymphadora...."

"Yes?"

"I love you." 

"I know."

"I just wanted to make sure that I said it to you _before_ I came."

"Thank you."

He pushed into her gradually and they both moaned. Gods, she was wrapped around him like a well-tailored glove. He held still, afraid to move and risk ending things before they had even begun. _Think of something else, anything else. Quidditch.... No, dementors. A full moon...._ Lupin took a deep breath and began to move, slowly out, slowly in. _Nice easy rhythm._

After nearly a year of resisting her like a noble fool he was inside her, and it was so much better than the self-satisfying fantasies that had only left him wanting her all the more. Lupin reveled in the feel of her limbs wrapped around him, her stiff nipples grazing his chest, the salty taste of her flesh, her arousing scent. He grabbed her arse and drove into her even deeper, urged on by the increasing volume of her moans. 

"Oh gods! Remus!"

He watched as the rapture broke over her face and marveled at how beautiful she was. She was flushed and panting, her eyes glazed and dreamy. He moved languorously as she wound down and when she had finally stopped shuddering he pulled out. 

"Remus?" she was almost pouting and he couldn't resist nibbling at her deliciously indignant lower lip.

"Turn over, love." 

Tonks eyed him guardedly before rolling over onto her stomach and he wondered briefly just how much experience she had. Nonplussed, he grabbed her hips and pulled her up until she was resting on her knees and elbows. The thought of teaching her a trick or two only served to fan the flames of his desire. He admired her backside for a moment before burying himself inside her with a groan of pleasure. Leaning forward slightly, Lupin slipped one hand around her waist and then down between her thighs and began rub with a well-placed finger. It didn't take long before she was slowly coming undone again, her body trembling as she moaned into her pillow. Animal instinct took over driving him harder, faster, and deeper and then she was contracting around him, crying out his name over and over until his senses exploded and he erupted into her.  
Lupin collapsed forward and buried his face in her neck, waiting for his heart to stop racing. When his breathing had calmed a bit he pulled out and flopped down onto the bed next to where she had slid down, exhausted. Tonks curled up with her head resting on his chest and Lupin enfolded her in his arms once more. 

They lay there in silence for a long while until finally, he spoke, "I hope I was worth the wait."

"You were."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"You did things that...." she trailed off, obviously uncomfortable.

"That no one else has ever done to you?"

"Yes." 

"Hopefully, it won't be the last time." Lupin could almost feel the heat of her blush against his chest. "But for now we should get some sleep."

"I am a bit knackered."

He kissed her forehead. "Goodnight my little nymph." 

"Does that make you a satyr?"

He laughed, "I guess it would." _Better than being a werewolf._

"Goodnight, Remus."

Lupin listened as her breathing became soft and even and soon he drifted off as well.

~*~

He awoke sometime during the night startled out of sleep by a hand brushing across his thigh. It took a minute before he remembered where he was and why there was a warm, soft, naked body pressed against his side. Neither one spoke as they came together, and then he was inside her again. Lupin turned his head and froze. There, framed by the window, was the glowing disk of a full moon. Panic seized his heart and his scream turned into a howl even as it escaped from his throat. In the instant before he transformed he saw the terror in her eyes and then the beast ripped out her throat and the coppery tang of blood flooded his mouth.

"No!"

Lupin woke up screaming, oblivious of the woman next to him trying to calm him. She held him like a child, one hand clutching him to her breast and the other stroking his hair as she whispered soothingly.

"Shhh.... It's alright, Remus. It was only a dream. Shhh."

It took him several minutes before his mind had cleared away enough of the horror for him to speak. 

"I killed you." He realised as he said it that he was trembling uncontrollably.

"No, Remus, you didn't. I'm right here. I'm fine."

"I was making love to you and then I saw the full moon, and—" He shuddered as the image of her fear filled eyes came back to him. "And I tore your throat out." 

She continued to hold him without speaking until he had stopped shaking and his breathing had calmed. He sat up when he was feeling a bit more composed and looked at her. 

His thoughts were in turmoil and the words just tumbled out, "This was a mistake. I was being selfish. I never should have invited you in."

"Oh, no you don't, Remus John Lupin! You are not going to brush me off, not now. Not after I've had a taste of you."

"Nymphadora, please don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"You've gone mental if you think I'm going to make it easy for you!"

Lupin sighed, "Nymphadora, please. I can't risk hurting you - it would kill me."

"And turning me away now isn't hurting me?"

"It is. I know. And I'm truly sorry for that, but at least you'd be safe," _from me_ he added silently.

"You're scared, Remus. I understand that. But, please, don't do this. I can't—" she broke off, sobbing.

The sight of her sitting there, face hidden in her hands, her naked shoulders heaving as she cried, filled him with remorse. He reached out to her but she pulled away from him.

"I'm sorry. Oh, gods, I'm so sorry, Nymphadora." _You'd deserve it if she hated you for the rest of eternity._

He pulled her into his arms and held her firmly as she struggled to get free. After several moments he felt the tension begin to drain from her body and she slumped against him. Lupin relaxed his grip and she pulled away, pummeling his chest with her fists.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, Remus!"

"I won't. I swear it on my life," _worthless though it is._

"Good, because if you do it again I'll kill you." She smiled through her tears at him.

Lupin relaxed back onto the bed and held open his arms to her. "Come here."

Tonks slipped into his embrace. He was quite content to just hold her in his arms, her silky flesh warming under his hands as they roamed over her. At least, that's what he told himself. Unfortunately, a certain part of his anatomy wasn't listening and it seemed that she had noticed.

"We should do something about that," she said motioning to the rather prominent lump in the blankets.

"What did you have in mind?"

She kicked the covers off and straddled him. "This," she said as she sunk down onto him.

His hands went to her hips. "Mmmm, that's exactly what I was thinking."

~*~

It was early morning when Lupin woke up again. He opened his eyes hesitantly, afraid she wouldn't be there -- afraid it had all been a dream, even though he could feel her warmth and hear her soft breathing. His eyes adjusted to the dim light and he let out a laugh that woke up the sleeping woman.

"Wotcher, Remus?" she asked sleepily.

"Your hair is pink again my little nymph."

Tonks ran a hand through her cotton-candy locks. "Really? Don't remember changing it...."

Lupin threw back the covers and she protested loudly. 

"Just checking," he said with a grin. "So, does that happen every time you change your hair colour?" 

"Yes." She yanked the covers back up. "Lecherous old man." 

"You wouldn't want me any other way," he teased, giving her a wink. "Now, shall we go downstairs and get some breakfast? I don't know about you, but I'm right famished."

"I'm feeling a bit peckish myself."

They got up and dressed silently. Lupin kept sneaking glances at her as she pulled her clothes back on. _How did I get so lucky?_ he wondered. When she had finished he moved to the door and opened it for her.

"After you, love."

Tonks graced him with a smile and slipped her hand into his as they walked down the hall together. He knew bloody well that he had no right to be this happy, but there it was - a bright spark of hope kindling inside him, and, as far as he was concerned, the rest of the world could sod off.

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to the goddess that is J.K.R. I'm just borrowing them for a quick shag because, frankly, Lupin really needs to get some. I do this purely for my own enjoyment. I make no money from it, claim no rights to it, and have a mortal fear of lawyers.


End file.
